Accompolished, Says Me

My feelings got hurt tonight.

Some people were recognized for something I also work hard for, but I wasn’t included in the recognition. Right away feelings of being overlooked, forgotten, and ignored flooded over me. I’ve struggled with this as far back as high school where it felt like only certain people were ever recognized (they were!). I thought I had moved past a lot of that, but it hit me pretty hard tonight.

Something soon shifted in my feelings, though. I got a lot accomplished at work today. When I got home, I did some laundry, cleaned the bathroom, made lunch and snack for tomorrow, did some unexpected cardio, and then vacuumed the house. As I emptied out the vacuum, I was impressed with all I had done on a Monday!

Then it hit me: I don’t have to worry about what others think. I do what I do for me. I felt relieved to get ahead at work and to do all that I could for my class. I felt happy to have a clean bathroom and floor and clothes, and I felt good to work my body.

After all the hard work, I took a warm shower, feeling relaxed as the saltiness from my exercise washed away. My feelings weren’t hurt anymore. I felt (good) tired and accomplished.

I got out of the shower and pushed my nose in my towel. I had pulled it out of the dryer only minutes before, so it was still hot and smelled fresh. It was like a giant, cozy hug and might have been the highlight of my whole day.

And then I remembered that there are a lot of people in this world who won’t have that experience tonight. Suddenly, I wasn’t hurt or jealous or angry anymore; I was thankful for the simple but maybe not-that-simple-after-all stuff like being able to move my body and fresh towels and clean jammies and warm showers and knowing I did it all for me.

Plus, I did something today I haven’t done in quite a while – I wrote a blog! So, regardless of what anyone else thinks, I am proud of me!