I had to go back to work today. I’m a teacher, and summer is over. It was a stressful and exhausting day for various personal and professional reasons.
I have a lot of guilt about working and “leaving” my mom. It made today a challenge for both of us, and I know I have to “do things differently,” as my therapist says. I don’t have that “differently” figured out yet, hence the guilt. But, not working isn’t a choice right now, so I need to also be patient with myself as we navigate these changes.
Not to mention that even though the back-to-school to do list always feels endless, I hardly accomplished anything today. Surprisingly, however, I am not that stressed about it. In the past I would be silently berating myself and rushing around to do more work after hours. But I resolved tonight that the best thing I could do would be to prepare breakfast for tomorrow morning, have a warm shower, and get into bed. Again, surprisingly, I am in bed much earlier than night-owl me usually ever is. It’s a miracle! And feels so good!
Chalk it up to age or experience, but I have a much healthier attitude than younger me once did. I know that it’ll all get done. It always has. What annoyances and irritations today held are gone, and tomorrow will be new. I feel good about today, not for anything that happened, but because I took care of me. Progress!
And then tonight I took one last bag of garbage out to the curb. I wasn’t going to but decided I should since tomorrow is garbage day. Shining brightly right outside my door was a crescent moon! I don’t know why, but crescent moons always bring me such joy. A little gift from God who also took care of me, and Mom, today. I am thankful.
The NIV version of the Verse of the Day feels fitting,
“You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.”
Psalms 119:114 NIV
Sweet dreams and better tomorrows!
Just Write, Jackie! 